**Scratch That

Peace. Love. Karma.

:)

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So I have changed my mind.....yet again.

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I really am feeling that this is like "counting your chickens before they hatch", or like I am just overreacting....but whatever.

Its my life, remember??! I guess I get to pick.

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So I really LOVE econ and such, but really dont see how I would be able to fit a family into that picture. I was really hopeful and just decided that "somehow it would work out" but now am not sure. I have been thinking really hard about it and honestly, being an economist would require 8+ additional years of schooling [only 2 that could be completed at a byu with the lower tuition costs], a couple internships, an apprenticeship or two, and many continuous hours of research and overtime. I dont know what I was thinking. I want to be a mom really bad, and I dont see how kids , let alone a husband, could fit into this.

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I decided that this is a stupid, unnecessary dilema. I shouldnt have to choose between a family and my job....I should have the choice made prior to the circumstance. I have learned that to be a life-saving tool in my life....if I have already figured out what I want in the future, and have a plan to get there...I get distracted too easy.

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Everything else from my previous "life-plan" post is still accurate.....minus the career choice.

I am really interested in Psychology also, and am fascinated with people. So I have decided Psych would be a great major for me. I think that this is a field where I will be able to get my degree, then either work part time or not at all while I have little kids at home. Then, once my kids are older I will go to work fulltime. This is a field where I think it will be less unacceptable to take time off for a fam [if you know what i mean].

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The only problem with this, is that my dad doesnt like this idea. He has been really wierd lately about stuff like this, but he told me he thinks this is a dumb choice because he thinks there is no demand for anyone with a psych major. I have done my research...I mean I LOVE data, I want to be an economist for heavens sake!!...and the outlook is even better than for economists. The wage is lower, but whatever. I will live. Idk. My dad is goofy at times. I think his main problem is that I am getting old and will be leaving him in a couple months. He has been acting strangely ever since he realized that I am 18, graduating from HS and college, and leaving soon. :) I hope he approves one day, because I would hate to do something he hates, but its my life, so I want to do what will make me happy....

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I am not sure what exact facet I want to enter in Psychology, but I am thinking I'll probably go into either child psych, mariage and fam psych, or become a professor. I think that this will be easier to change around, because a degree can take you to many different avenues.

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So yes. I have, once again, changed my mind.

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Psychology is my "major of the week" LOL.

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Honestly I just want to be a momma. The only reason why this is major decision is so hard for me, is because I do not want to be home alone once my kids are gone. I get bored so easily, and do not think I will be happy at home all day. [This is in no way saying I think stay at home moms have nothing important to do!!!!!!!] But yea. Also we have been warned time and time again about the importance of women getting an education and such. There is NO doubt in my mind I am going to get a degree in an area where I will be able to make decent money...but I dont want that to be in an area that refuses time for a family.

:)

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Sometimes I wish I could just see what my life is going to be like, so I can plan....but thats not really up to me I guess. God provides the opportunities, and I determine which ones I will be smart enough to see. Really an interesting thought, to me at least.

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One thing that I think will help, is getting my P.B. I went through the interview and have a recommendation, the only problem is that it is from like 4 years ago in Washington. This is totally in my hands though, I just need to get around to talking to bishop about it. :) So yes.

The thing is though, I highly doubt that it will say that I should prepare to not have a family, because I doubt that is the plan... :) So I think that this will be a goood choice.

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This decision was provoked by a handful of amazing women/mothers that I am surrounded with. YOu all are great examples, and I love you!!!!!!

My Love.

MyLove.
Isnt she BEAUTIFUL?!!!

She has a rockin bowl...if I do say so myself :)

in the stance that we see while she fetches...she POUNCES, its adorable

It is true. A couple of weeks ago I fell in love.

:)

So I know that you all probably are aware, but I am a late blogger....but we got a new puppy!!!

She is a golden retriever, [aka the best type of dogggs out there]

Her name is LAYLA

We got her at 12 weeks old, but she is now a little older. :)

I am so grateful to have her! She is the best behaved puppy I have ever seen.

She obeys, and knows what NO and DOWN mean.

She is hillarious!

If she catches you asleep, she will jump up next to you and lick your face...[obviously you can tell i love her, i do not let any other animals lick my face and live :)]

...or if you fall asleep sitting up [i fall asleep a lot :)] she will go behind you and get up so she can get her face right next to your head, and she will cuddle in your neck. its cute.

SHE CAN RETRIEVE!!

It is astounding to have a golden retriever that CAN retrieve :)

She is really funny while playing fetch. She gets all worked up and excited and then when you throw the item, she will jump to try to catch it in the air, but since she is still a clumsy puppy she usually misses...then she will run after the item, and instead of simply picking it up, she will pounce from a bit of a distance. It is really funny and reminds me of the Lion King for some reason :) LOL.

She is potty-trained!!

Since we found/got her a little bit older than most puppies, we actually never had to potty train her.

It is wonderful.

If she is inside and needs to go potty she will just go either the front door or the back door...and if we dont notice fast enough she will bark to get our attention.

She has only had a couple accidents inside, which is incredible, seeing as my mom's idiot dog Misty is like 5 or so and still to stupid to be potty trained.

:)

She is SOOO funny.

She LOVES water and moisture..

There is still some snow and such on the ground, so when you walk her it is hillarious! While she is walking, if it is dry she is perfect and funny and just content and happy, wagging her tail as we go....but as soon as she finds a puddle or some snow, she will back up and run and jump into it.

It is SO funny.

It doesnt matter how often I bathe her, she is ALWAYS pretty dirty,

It will be better though when the last of the snow melts, because then things wont stay wet when it is not raining and such.

I am so glad that she finds such joy in water though, because we get a lot of it in Minnesota.

She lets you bathe her!
Hayley NEVER liked baths, and was terrible. Even when she was a puppy she would jump out of the tub, tackle you down, and run soapy all through the house.

Although it was funny and fun and quite the challenge...

I have decided I LOVE that she is so easy.

[which is good, because she likes getting dirty far more than Hayley did]

She will just chill in the tub, and even roll over so you can massage in the soap on her belly...

its cute.

:)

Her only flaw, [that I could care less about], but my mom dislikes...is that she barks.

It doesnt bother me, because Hayley barked too, and since I got her when I was 3, I just live with it.

It is NOT nonstop barking, but she gets excited about people, squirrels, and the bunnies that live in our neighborhood, and will bark if she gets too excited.

Its funny, because when she barks her tail waggggs like CRAZY...[she has a POWERFUL tail!!]

So that is probably why it doesnt bother me, she is happy, not barking because she is mean or angry. :)

So that is LAYLA.

I love her......and am really excited, because my mom already said I can have her when I get my own place that allows pets..because I am SO in love with her. :)

**sorry this is so late. I suck at keeping up with this blog.

:)

Contemporary or Not? you.may.decide.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?....Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you. As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." -Nelson Mandela

"What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude towards life. We had to learn..that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life--daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."

['Man's Search for Meaning; by Viktor E Frankl page 98]

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"Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!"

['Man's Search for Meaning; by Viktor E Frankl page 132]

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As most of you know, I have been having a ridiculous time trying to pick a major. I used to be certain that I wanted to be a nurse practitioner...but realized I would probably rather take a bullet than have to take so many science classes. I love science until college..and now it is really not my thing.

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I have been a big dreamer since....the beginning of my life. :) I grew up wanting to be a spicegirl and marry a Backstreet Boy. :)

Ever since I was little I love helping people out. I love to serve people, play with kids, be artistic. I am one of those kids that love to do artistic things "in my closet". I write songs, play the violin and piano, love interior decorating, love to design clothes and shoes and bags, and all of the sorts. I am a fiend of a picture taker. I LOVE to take them, so I wanted to be a photographer for awhile. I also have always wanted to be a newscaster or something like that.

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Last year I took my first economics college course, and LOVED it. I LOVE economics, however odd that may sound. I have no clue why, because most people dread the topic, but I am completely intrigued. Economics is the best part of my week. I love it. I even love doing the homework [which is not me] and I read books about economics for fun.

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I think I have decided what I want to do with my life.

This is the big unveiling of it...[although it may change..]

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I decided that it is impossible to do EVERYTHING I love as a career....and that that is just fine. I think that is what has been hooking me up for so long. I get nervoust that I will miss doing what I love, and will end up loathing my career. My solution for this, as I have just realized, is that I CAN do it all, just not for a living.

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I want to get at least a Bachelor perhaps my Masters in Economics [not sure the exact division yet] then I want to proceed in being either...

1. an economist

2. a market research analyst

3. an economics professor

...then ultimately I want to be an economic correspondent for a major news corporation, such as FoxNews.

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:)

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Then, as for the rest. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother, and believe that that is a main purpose to my life. I want to have a couple kids, and then maybe adopt a couple...[preface: I do NOT want a million kids...just a few.]...and will then,

1. decorate my house. find happiness making my house adorable, and helping my friends out also, as a hobby

2. take as many stinkin pictures as is possible. I will be the best documenter of life there ever was.

3. I intend on teaching my kids what the perfect heels look like, how to spot a keeper [as in bags and much more lol], and I will help them coordinate clothes in order to be the most amazing looking children on the planet.

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**a keypoint to this plan is that I will be making BANK. I want to make lots of money, so I can be able to support my family, and many other families in need. I do not want anyone around me to suffer. I want to be a large contributor to many different causes, and I want to make a difference.

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I AM NOT GOING TO BE JUST ANOTHER INHABITOR OF THIS PLANET. I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES NEAR ME.

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Although this may sound lame to some. I think it will make me happy. I will be able to do a pursue a career I intend to love, and still be able to do what I love. I WILL be a mother, and the best stinkin wife there ever was.

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That would be the plan.

:)

He-Lary-Us!

These are just some HILLARIOUS quotes.

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...the VERY BEST ones originated with me and my best friend in the whole wide world, Miss Ashley!! [goodness I LOVE US!] [...and how most of these came up in normal convos..]

:)

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THE BEST:

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ME: "i think i wanna be a nun. nun= no major+ no relationship"

ASHLEY: "but nun=no kissing+ no cuddling"

ME: "YIKES! and they say you are supposed to share your talents, so i think that no kissing+ no cuddling = SIN!"

ASHLEY: "..and that would call for some serious repenting!"

LOL!

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"If kissing were an olympic sport, I'd get more gold medals than MICHAEL PHELPS!" ~ash & i

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DECENT ONES:

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-"i bet you if we went skinny-dipping in the lake..JON would be the first one with his pants off!" -LOL. me w/chantell and jon*

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"Follow your inner moonlight, don't hide the madness." ~Allen Ginsberg*

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"I am out shopping. What else would a gay boy be doing on a friday night?'-lol. My econ prof making fun of someone

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Then for something a bit more SERIOUS..

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“If you’re not following your heart, you’re living someone else’s dream.” –Lyn Christian

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"There is NO can or cant, there is only will or wont....and my WILL is gunna kick your CAN!" :)

The Beginning of the End.

So...today was my FIRST day of my LAST term at AR!! I was so excited and happy.

I am very odd like that, I realized that I LOVE love Love the first day of each semester...the new books and the rush of learning...but then I noticed that about midterm I become unexcited..LOL.

I hope I can break that habit this term!

Already my classes seem MUCH harder than expected...but I know I can survive! Only 4 months left LOL.

This morning began rather comical...I woke up, and arrived at seminary EARLY for the first time this year..LOL. I went home, showered and got all my things together...I was SOO excited! It was kinda funny I was irritating myself so much. I kept putting on my coat, then taking it off because I realized I was too early.. :) Then finally I couldnt wait any longer, and decided to head out.

I raced down the freeway, at about 10 miles a minute...MacroEconomics is my first class of the day...I have it with my FAVORITE professor of all time, so I was WAY excited!!

Then, all of a sudden it started snowing!! :) EVEN BETTER! I love the snow, and it made me even more happy! I swear I had like a major natural high going on.. :)

MACROECONOMICS: rocks!! It is my only elective this term..and is by FAR my favorite class of all! I have Drew Mattson, [I had him for general econ too], and he is THE BEST prof ever! He is so straight forward, and comical, and just the funniest buthead you will ever meet!! His class is even better than my wildest dreams..LOL [haha]. Goodness it is the best way to start my AR days!

So of course I was ALREADY happy..when a certain goodlooking fellow from Flake too..[which NEVER happens at AR!] came in to my macroecon class! Goodness I am happy, and he is adorable!! LOL

ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE: is survivable. My prof talks rather dull..almost in a monotone..but I am sure I can get over it! His class seems alright...very achievable! As long as I have enough time to do my best, I think I will easily get an A or B! The class is really quite boring, much more than expected due to the fact that I LOVE BIO! [this is a subsection of bio].

haha..so this was all good and gold UNTIL...dun-dun-dummmmm...

my prof started talking about global warming "from the heart" and all that crap. I wanted to laugh out loud! We are having THE coldest winter in Minnesota for over 100 years, the high for tomorrow for heavens sake is -5..and you want me to believe in GLOBAL WARMING?! NOT A CHANCE BUCKO! lol. [Hopefully I can get on the "good student, good worker, give me an A" list..LOL.

COLLEGE ALGEBRA/TRIG: was decent. My prof is WAY experienced, which ROCKS!, but it is his first term teaching at AR [he has taught for over 25 years though], so I think he was kinda nervous. [The fact that we had like 60 new faces staring at him probably didnt correlate LOL]. I think that I can work hard enough and get a decent grade!! He said to expect 15 hours of homework a week on average, although more is very common...I hope that I will be able to work out things so I have that much time to devote to math alone! [But dont worry, I have a secret weapon...that helps me be whatever I strive to be, and makes ALL things possible. LoL.]

So it was fine! I met up with my girl Alvina, and it was fun!

I have NUTRITION and CAREER ORIENTATION online this term...and I hope it turns out alright. I barely checked my nutrition class..it looks WAY harder than I ever imagined..but I think it will turn out just fine!

OVERALL: I am amazingly grateful for all the opportunities I have with my education...and hope that with this semester I can go out of AR with a boom of greatness..LOL.

...wish me luck! :)

My Bestie.

Tonight, we have had to do one of the hardest things ever! We had to get my 15 year old doggy Hayley put down.

My parents gave her to me and Ry for my 3rd birthday, and she has been the BEST dog anyone could ever have hoped for!

I love her so so much, and although I am extremely sad that we had to do this, the hardest part of the whole situation was doing it without Ry by my side. Hayley has technically belonged to me, but I think she really is mine, Ry's, and my dad's. We had so many great times with her!

Me and Ry literally would dress up and ride her like a horse when we were little, and she LOVED it! She has always loved attention, and just being with us. She used to be so strong, that Matt was unable to take her for walks, because she would walk him. :) What a rockstar!

Hayley has truly been a trooper, she has been through 4 states with us.

Once, when we lived in Boise, Hayley escaped out of our backyard one day while me and Ry were at school, and was caught outside of the front door of our elementary school by the janitor. Everyone at the school knew my family, because Ry went through all his elementary years there, and I made it until 4th grade, and my mom would volunteer in our classrooms weekly. So when they recognized Hayley, they put her in the Vice-Principal's office and called our mom. By the time my mom got there, Hayley had already searched out the VP's lunch and had eaten it. :) She made us laugh!

She also had puppies when we lived in Boise, right before we moved. In fact, we were selling puppies and our house at the same time. LOL. I remember the day she had her puppies, it was so cool, and she was such a great mom! In fact, the family that bought our house in Boise tried to get Hayley as a part of the deal...we offered them a puppy of their choosing, but they declined.
QUESTION: who really thinks that they can get Hayley just cause they bought our house? LAME! We kept her, by the way :).

Because my parents can not compromise when it comes to dogs, we have always had one big dog, and one little dog. [My dad likes em big, and my mom likes em little and annoying]. Every little dog we have gotten has believed that Hayley is their mother, and Hayley took care of them all, no matter how annoying!

Overall, my dog is a saint, and I am so glad that I have had her in my life for so long. I honestly cannot remember my life without her, and would never want to.

The Kilburn family has officially been spoiled for 15 years.

For YOU!!!

For YOU!!!
I won!! I won!! And now it's YOUR turn to win!!! I ran across this very fun little "contest" on my friend Miss Annie's blog, and I WON!! So now I'm paying it forward. Check out the rules and leave a comment!

{The Rules}
--Be one of the first three bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.
--Winners must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first three bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!
--The gift that you send to your Three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
--When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!
If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

the art of the ramble ;-)

I am very sorry to inform you, but I believe this whole blog deal will be similar to my journaling habit...steady for like a week, and then off for a month. :) WHOOPS!

..Hopefully I can improve both of those habits LOL.

-THE LUCKY ONES by Tim Myers

"When the sun comes out from the rainclouds I know its going to be better. Climb a ladder up to the top of the world, we'll do it together. We're the lucky ones. Lately I've been smiling outside of the good in life as a feather, open up the window look out at the sky everythings better. We're the lucky ones. Maybe the moon doesn't shine, maybe we're all color blind, we dont care what they all will say. We're the lucky ones. We can do it together, we're the lucky ones."

......just thought that you should know I think this song is so cute, and as of right now I think I want it at my future reception LOL. [future being majoyly emphasized :)]

PONY (IT'S OK) by Erin McCarley
"You hold your head up to the sky You say what kind of blue are you? Are you?
Then you ride your pony round and round It’s diggin’ a hole, right through, right through.
You stumble down a yellow brick road, Spinning your shoes in the air, the air.
Then you, hold your breath, and count to nine, Hoping that soon somebody will find you, find you, Go on, go on, go on, the stars are watching, Just say, just say, just say, what you’re feeling, You know, you know, you know, you gotta take a bow and do it your way, It’s okay, ladadadadadadadada, it’s okay, ladadadadadadadada
You’re 15 miles over the speed,
You’re going fast as you can off to your daydream
Ohh On your mark, get set, hurry away Or have a serious talk with your, champaign
Ohh Go on, go on, go on, the stars are watching, Just say, just say, just say, what you’re feeling, You know, you know, you know, you gotta take a bow and do it your way, It’s okay, ladadadadadadadada, it’s okay, ladadadadadadadada
It’s time for you to prove, Within your ruby shoes You deserve a smile with no regret, Look at you Kicking off your shoes, Dancing for the world to see, You got the power to believe, Open up and see, And I’ll be free and fly away, "
<3




As you are probably aware, I constantly have some sort of wonderful music playing..consequently this is how much of thoughts originate.


I am a COMPLETE sucker for Indie and Alternative music, anything random/happy/beautiful I can easily become addicted to. :) SO..I have been listening to this random bunch of music constantly for like 3 days, and have a things to note about a few of the tunes....





*COUNT TO TEN by Tina Dico: amazing song! it has a few quotes/phrases that I LOVE, and are incredibly true [in my life at least] :)
-"Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to go slowely"..."Sometimes the best way to hold on is to let go"


*THE CURE FOR PAIN by Jon Foreman: =beautiful
-"Here tonight our stars are blacking out with every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt. I've spent 10 years trying to sing these doubts away, but the water keeps on falling froms my eyes."
-"Blood is fire pulsing through our veins we're either writers or fools behind the reins. I've spent 10 years trying to sing it all away, but the water keeps on falling from my tries."


*SHINE by Rosi Golan & Humans: =inspirational
-"This life is like a bright, so I'll take it day by day and let it be. And everyone will see how good it feels to see the world for all that it could be. Let the sunlight in, I want to feel it from within. Spin me around and make me feel like I could shine."



Other GREAT songs:

-OK by Holly Conlan
-Presume Too Much by Merz
-Brand New Day by Joshua Radin
-Mistaken Identity by Steve Reynolds
-any MANY more :)




******NOTE: if you want copies of these randoms, let me know! I am definitely able to make it for you! :)





I LOVE YOU, I LOVE THIS, I LOVE LIFE!


[ps. my dad's birthday is later today LOL JAN 4th. I am unsure how old he is...but HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyways! :) ]

The Key to Everything AMAZING!

Alright...sorry in advance, but this is a MUST!

I am a music nut [like you didnt know that?!] and am always on top of new and old and random music...always looking for the best song that anyone could ever hear. I have concluded...THE STORY by Brandi Carlile is THE BEST SONG EVER RECORDED!

It has withstood my test of time...and is officially capable of being loved after near 100 plays.
This song blew out a set of speakers I had previously, and just today has blown out another set.
IT IS AMAZING!

I will by endless speakers simply for this song alone. I could listen to it on repeat for the rest of my life and be over-satisfied with simply everything.

Please listen to this song, it is the best $0.99 and 3 minutes you have EVER spent.

Honestly, I have no clue why, but I get a natural high from this song...I get this unexplainable feeling of butterflies and euphoria and bliss and happiness and joy and love. It is incredible!

...when she screams in the middle, I can hardly take things. I want to jump up and down and scream out of joy and go out of control-crazy-insane. It is my absolute FAVORITE part of any song I have ever heard in my life.


SO...take this, implement this inexpensive therapy treatment in your own life, and report back.
:) This is the best piece of art you have ever treated your ears to!!

Almost Random Side Note:

I have been so incredibly happy and positive and simple cannot get rid of this amazing feeling of joy that is swelling inside of me. It is as if I am constantly flirting with a euphoric cloud of happiness. No joke, it is a little weird. I do not know for sure where it has come from...and feel almost as though someone needs to pinch me or slap me in the face to make sure I am really Mandy Kilburn living Mandy Kilburn's life. It is almost painful to be so happy...a good pain that is...I constantly want to smile and hug people and jump up and down screaming "I love you!" at the top of my lungs. I fear by doing this, I may be invited to stay in a lovely white building with padded walls...not quite my dream living arangement.

Possible Reasoning...

I was INCREDIBLY behind on tithing..it was terrible! A couple weeks ago I got caught up, and am still caught up..:) YAY! I am thinking this feeling may have started happily festering in my soul about that time :).

Plus, I have been better at seminary attendance...and have tightened my interpretation of the word of wisdom.

OVERALL...the church is true. :)

PS..PLEASE GO LISTEN TO THAT SONG! lol

They say its all about...Location, Location, Location

Growing up, the Kilburn family has moved A LOT!

1. UTAH
2. SanDiego, CALIFORNIA
3. Idaho Falls, IDAHO
4. UTAH
5. Boise, IDAHO
6. Casper, WYOMING
7. Richland, WASHINGTON
8. Forest Lake, MINNESOTA

My parents started off in UT, then moved to CA where they had RYAN.

Then, I joined the picture in ID. I was a bit complicated, so my parents decided to move back to UT near family and a better job.

Then my dad took a job in Boise, where we had Matt. In Boise he switched from company to company, pretty much whoever offered the most money to him. :) Then when his former company merged with another, his division was chopped out of the picture. My dad found a great offer in WY, [and he is a major country boy] so thats where we ended up.

My dad's boss was a nut in Wyoming, and due to the fact that my mom hated it there, she made us move right when my dad's contract was up.

He found a great job working at the Hanford nuclear site, but after Hurricane Katrina, the government put off funding for the project for a couple years. My dad then picked up a job with that same company, just the branch up in Seattle. He would leave at 3 in the morning on Monday, and come home at about 11 on Friday nights. It was hard for us, but it worked.

Then my dad took another job out of Oregon I believe, he worked out of the house, just flying over for meetings and such. He did not like that, and was not making enough money to make ends meet, so started major job hunting again.

My dad got a great offer from a company out in Lino, and started working for them. His former boss got us a realtor, and we ended up buying a house we had never seen, [except for in pictures lol]. We moved out here the beginning of my sophomore year. Then, the people my dad's company installed sprinklers for stopped paying their bills, and all of a sudden my dads company was short a few million dollars. Because of this, he was laid off. My dad, being the amazing guy he is, decided that we could remain in MN, and found the job he has now.

Just recently I found out that he was offered an amazing deal with a company back in Wa, and turned it down. I have mixed emotions about this one.


I definitely wish I was back in Washington, but moving is a hard thing. For now I am trying to make the best of Minnesota, and am getting ready to leave in the summer or fall. I do love MN, it is beautiful, and people are kind, it is just different. I miss the high standards people in the West had for themselves and their lives, and I miss the days when the right choice was the easy one to make.

Now I live in a state where drinking and driving is normal, and where kids start drinking and smoking pot in junior high. It is scary for me to see this, I just hope that I am strong enough to withstand the pressures for a few more months.


I guess being the odd one with high standards in a lower society makes you well...peculiar......and I think you know what they say about the peculiar people...:)

Where it all began..

Top: Me

Middle: Me, Dad, Matt, Mom, Ryan, Grandma Martha, Grandpa Van

Bottom: Katie

I was born Amanda Jennifer Kilburn [an extremely long name..I am already aware] on March 21, 1991 in Idaho Falls, Idaho. I DEFINITELY go by MANDY though. :) I was a little over one month early, and was so little I had to stay in the NICU for a LONG time. Because of the fact that I was not supposed to survive, I'm thinking there is something very important I have to do on this earth. :)

My parents, Brad and Jenny met in college in Utah, and were dating for 3 months before they got engaged...not to jump the gun or anything LOL. I can never remember how old they are, because it is really just a number to me. They are my parents and I do love them no matter how aggravating they can be. hahaha.

My dad, Brad, is a lead design manager for Simplex-Grinnell down near the cities [in Crystal Lake I think :)] He was born January 4th of some unknown year. He is a wonderful dad, and does all that he can for anyone. I have never in my life met a more tolerable person, [he even puts up with my mom always calling him old man, and while they were dating she....well I guess thats something you are going to have to ask me about.] :) He and his mom were converted to the LDS religion when he was younger, and then he served a mission for our church when he was 19 in Thailand.

My mom, Jenny, is something else. Her birthday is August 14, but of which year I am unsure. She is a nice woman, and has gone through her ups and downs. When me and Ryan were little, she was the perfect mom and housekeeper, always making cookies on the first day of school and such. She was a pretty positive and happy person, and loved to serve others. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, or MS when I was in 5th grade, and ever since then things have been a bit different. It is hard to explain, and is a very emotional subject for me to discuss, but it was almost like a switch flipped in her mind, and created a whole different person. She is still loving, and a good mom, just not the same as when I was younger. I love her very much, it is just difficult. She has been fortunate to have pretty good health, and has only had two lasting flares. The first my lovely Aunt Wendy came from Colorado to help us, and the second I did everything pretty much by myself. I love my mom very much, and she does so much for me! Without her I do not know where I would be.

My brother Ryan is AMAZING!!! He is my best friend of all time. He started the Kilburn kids off in California. He just turned 20 on October 25, and is currently serving a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Denver South Mission. I love him like no other, and he has been there for me throughout purely everything. He is hillariously funny, and is great at football. He is a MAJOR carhead, and has his baby, a '66 Mustang in our garage. It runs, he is just making everything better, and updating it. It is pretty much his favorite thing [besides me of course] in his life. He is really funny, and loves to debate useless topics. Although he swore college was unnecessary while he was home, he has now decided that he would like to go to college when he gets home, and is looking at possibly going to BYU with me. :)

My little brother Matt was born June 30, 1995 in Boise, and drastically shook the world. :) He is a nut most of the time, but we still love him. Growing up he was always a trouble maker and into everything he could find. My mom thought that when kids were naughty in the grocery store it was the parents fault...until Matt came along. He was pretty unruley, keeping us on our toes. Currently he has entered into a major nerd phase, [I say this as he is practicing the piano behind me :)]. He loves band, music, percussion, piano, math, science, spanish, and just school in general. He has never really been into sports seriously, [he would pick the dandilions on the field while he was supposed to be playing tot-soccer.] :) I do love him.

My little sister Katie is my everything! Her birthday is March 16, and she was born somewhere in Utah I believe. She was adopted, which is hard for me to believe. Although I was present when we first got her at 9 months as a foster child, I always forget that she was not born out of my mom like the rest of us. Her birth mother was on many drugs, Meth in particular, causing a few complications in her life. When we first got her, we were told that she would be extremely mentally retarded, and possible physically disabled, so we put her in a bunch of different learning therapies, and consequently she is just great! She is VERY strong willed, which is why she is alive today. She was a failure to thrive baby, and without her spunky personality I would not have her in my life today. I LOVE her like no other! She is hillarious. Currently she is in 1st grade, and loving it! She has scored higher than most of her class in Math, and is excelling in most everything else also. She loves to dance, and can imitate Frozone from the Incredibles like NO other! :)

That is my family. They are absolutely NUTS, but I love them all the same!

I am so grateful for them and all they do for me.

I know without them I would be a much different person, and would not have the same opportunities as I do today.

Preface

For: ANNE!!! :)

I am a shockingly complex person. [the shockingly comes to play if you do not know me very well]

I am a senior in highschool, and plan on going to college this fall in the west.[BYU, BYU-I, Utah State, Boise State, and U of Wa are my TOP choices.]

I go to Anoka-Ramsey Community College, and LOVE it!

No lies, I am a Facebook addict for sure.

I try to do my best, and although sometimes I fall short, I feel alright about it.

I am a pretty happy person, and I love to learn.

<3 I do what I do, and thats what I do.


“If you’re not following your heart, you’re living someone else’s dream.” –Lyn Christian